“ABOUT TRUE LOVE…….”

It’s been really long time, and when I’m back really I feel something to share about important part of our life...called...”LOVE”. We may not realize but it has major role to play in our lives.

We human beings are social entities. As good relationship is the major contributor for remaining good. It is very important to understand the relationships. Especially complex relationships (at least for me...!!) between male and female.


Sharing of love, both giving and taking, brings happiness. That is why it is said that love, not time, heals all wounds. Similarly when love becomes thin, faults appear thicker.

Love and like are feelings, emotional stages of our life. Both sound similar, synonymous, yet they are different. We may like a person or an article but it does not necessarily mean that we love them.

If you are attracted to something or someone, it is liking. But if you care for it and take its onus, it is your love for it. I said ‘onus’. And not possess’. If we love someone, we must care for that person.

If you try to help someone during his/her difficult day, it is your sympathy. But, if your heart cries on listening someone’s sorrow, and if the person’s agony becomes yours then it is not sympathy, it is empathy. Liking someone empathetically is Love. Mathematically, you can express it as –

“Love = Liking + Empathic Caring”

There is a say – “In life, to judge others use your heart and to judge yourself use your head”. Empathy is the ability of a person to see from the other person’s viewpoint.

Love is beautiful and continues to remain beautiful unless it is pampered. Once you try to possess love, its beauty gets spoilt. That is why many times we find expensive household items kept in one corner and treated with sheer negligence. Love is also like that. It is beautiful as attractive, so long as it is out of our reach.

Love is behavior and a feeling, certainly not an article. Hence, never can it be owned. Never try to snatch love. It is natural and cannot become any one’s property. So, we should not try to mix up love with self interest or accomplishment.
IT is often said – “Giving leads to empathic Love”, what is giving? True giving is other oriented and requires the following elements:

• CARE, demonstrating active concern (not theoretical which everyone can have) for the recipient’s life and growth.
• RESPONSIBILITY, responding to his/her expressed/unexpressed need.
• RESPECT, the ability to see the other person as he/she is and be aware of his/her unique individuality
• KNOWLEDGE, you can care for, respond to, and respect the other only if you know him/her deeply.

The more you give the more you love, that is why probably our parents, who have given us more that we ever know, undoubtedly love us more that we love them. This is because deep and intimate love emanates from knowledge and giving: it comes not overnight but over time.

Where true love is present, happiness is bound to come. “About True Love”, swami Vivekananda in one of his writings had said:

“I would like to share something on the nature of love. I once had a friend who grew to very close to me. Once when we were sitting at the edge of a swimming pool, she filled the palm of her hand with little water and held it before me, and said this: “You see this water carefully contained on my hand? It symbolizes Love.” This was how I saw it: “As long as you keep your hand carnally open and allow it to remain there it will always be there. However, if you attempt to close your fingers around it and try to possess it, it will spill through the first cracks it finds.”

This is the greatest mistake that people commit when they meet love, they try to possess it, they demand, they expect: and just like water spilling out of our hand, love will run away from us. For love is meant to be free, you cannot change its nature. If there are people you love, allow them to be free beings.

• Give and don’t expect.
• Advise, but don’t order.
• Ask, but never demand.

It might sound simple, but it is a lesson that may take a lifetime to truly practice. It is the secret of True. To truly practice it, “You must sincerely feel no expectations from those who you love, and yet an unconditional caring.”

Love lasts longer only when there is no mutual expectation, If at all expectations are present, they must be realistic.